26 Things You Won’t Find in Australia

September 8, 2015

in Australia, Fall 2015, Oceania, Tori Kusiak

Happy Father’s Day everyone!

That’s right; it’s Father’s Day round two for me in Australia. Things here are so similar to things in the United States, yet there are so many things that are just slightly, entertainingly, and sometimes confusingly different.

Here’s a list of a 26 things that Australia does not have to offer:

  1.       Biscuits. Unless you are talking about a kind of cookie, no biscuit for you!
  1.       Granola. Technically they have granola – how could they do without? But what you are looking for is called muesli.
  1.       Sweaters. One word; it’s called a jumper.
  1.       Sweatpants. Track pants.
  1.       Skim milk. Simply doesn’t exist, sorry. Whole milk or no milk! You might be able to find it in the health food section in long-life form though.
  1.       Tennis shoes or sneakers. You might want to try joggers.

7.       Flip-flops. That’s right; I like to wear my “thongs” around the house.

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  1.       Shopping carts. “What is a shopping caRt? This? This is a trolley.”
  1.       Bell peppers. “Capsicums?”
  1.   Lemonade. This is as good as it gets. North America is the only place you are likely to find real lemons in lemonade.

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  1.   Roll-on deodorant. How do you feel about spray-on deodorant?
  1.   French fries. This is confusing so read carefully. French fries are chips. Chips are crisps. So when you order chips with your burger expect French fries, but when you order potato chips with your sandwich, also expect French fries.
  1.   Pop tarts. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT POP TARTS ARE.
  1.   Amazon.com. Whatever you want, whenever you want it, you can’t have it.
  1.   Walmart. …¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  1.   Clothes Driers. No one has one. I guess it’s always warm enough outside for hanging clothes on the line.
  1.   Bikinis and Swimsuits. You’re talking about swimmers, right?
  1.   Baseball. Cricket.
  1.   Mexican food. But they are trying, oh they are trying.
  1.   Bars. Bars are called hotels. This can be very confusing when you are looking for hotels. I do not know what a hotel is called. Probably also a hotel.
  1.   Cutting in line. Australians do not cut in line, it’s a fact. You may catch someone “jumping the queue” though.
  1.   College. University, or Uni for short.
  1. Mermaids. There are also no mermaids in America, but somehow here it is more obvious.
  1.   Ketchup. No one will know what you are talking about, so you should probably say tomato sauce.

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  1.   Shoulders. As in the shoulders of the road. The sidewalk is the shoulder of the road in Australia, so be careful about standing too close to the curb because you will need to step out of the way for a bus making a left turn.
  1.   Tipping. Truly not a thing in Australia, ever, under any circumstance.
  1.   Badgers. Or at least we thought…

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