Wow. WOW. I’m sorry what? Exsqueeze me, baking powder, is this actually happening? This is my last post while in Brazil. I realmente can’t believe about eleven months have gone by, and here I am, leaving this terra brasileira.
The truth is, I can’t imagine studying anywhere else. Brazil really was a perfect fit for me. Minas Gerais was even more fitting, i mean, gente, Minas Gerais is a Brazilian Wisconsin, mk? If you are a die-hard Wisconsite, trust me, you are deep-down a mineiro as well.
Often when i reflect on my experience i’m tempted to think about what should have gone down. But then i stop cuz life is not made up of SHUDDA CUDDA WUDDA’S, it’s all about the shall, can, and will’s…? I’m just sayin’ my experience is what it was, it wasn’t anyone else’s, it was unique to me, and i had a plethora of unique cultural experiences. Like many a churrasco brasileiro, classic live samba rodas, forró dancing, a ‘lil taste of festa junina, a sprinkle of classical brazilian literature, some contemporary literature, English teaching, brazilian Catholic ministry immersion, and some casual backpacking in Chile and Argentina.
And that’s not even half of it, let’s face it. While reflecting on these experiences, I also can’t help but think, why? Why did i come to another country, adapt myself to a culture, a different language, and make friends from a whole other part of the world? Do you know what this means? Do you have any idea what this means? It means that, at this very moment, i am quite contrariada. If you’ve never read Macunaíma, well, im not sure how much of it i understood…Any way, Carlos de Andrade plays with a lot of common sayings in Brazilian Portuguese, and one of them is contrariada. Many times the main character, Macunaíma, o herói sem carácter, finds himself contrariado, tipo conflicted.
In other words, I wanna go home, see my family, give them a big ‘ole hug, but i don’t want to say goodbye to the friends i’ve made here. I don’t wanna all the sudden speak in English 24/7. WHO’S GONNA UNDERSTAND ME WHEN I WANT TO SAY uai, sô, or bom demais véi, or Nú! or olha só, ou aqui ó, or tudo jóia? MEHH the list goes on.
Where am i gonna get pão de queijo, or my fix of arroz e feijão or Bandejão or BANANAS. Cadê (Where in the world) will my bananas be? The bananas here are so good here. Brasil has so many types. Not only that, but my goiaba, or my mamão, or the many freshly squeezed juice lanchonetes, mehhhhhhh i’m not ready to say goodbye to all of this. Don’t even get me started on the coffee. Just don’t.
What’s even more conflicting is all the friends i’ve made. So many shared memories and cultural exchanges. I’m truly going to miss you all, but please know that i’m going to give the good ‘ole jeito brasileiro to come back and visit y’all. Because, i mean, this can’t be a goodbye, am i right? More like an até logo.
Despite all this that i’m gonna miss, i also miss my fam and friends back in the Wisco like crazy. I appreciate FB, but at the same time i don’t because i’m constantly seeing what my friends back in the States are doing, and thinking OH NO, THEY’RE BONDING WITHOUT ME, ANOTHER FRIENDSHIP LOST. Also known as FOMO, but, hey, that’s a little absurd, so i don’t dwell on that thought.
As for my family, I miss them so much. When you say ta ta for now to your family and are really close to your family like i am, you certainly sente saudades. Even more so when you spend almost an entire year without seeing them. I don’t know if i could do it again. I miss my sister and her sass. I miss my brothers beating me up and asking me to make pancakes. I miss bothering my parents, talking to them while they watch TV. I miss bothering my sister talking to her while she reads. I miss making noise in the house, you know, singing and dancing around the house because SOMEBODY has to provide the noise. Now that i’m learning how to play charango, i’m gonna be even more barulhente than before (you’re welcome).
Hopefully, this gives you an idea why i am so contrariada. I mean, i wanna see my friends and fam, but i don’t want to say até logo to all the friends i’ve made here. Basically i’ve made myself two lares (homes). One here in BH, MG, Brasil, and another in Wisco. From here on out Mon Mon is gonna be out of it. Because while i am here part of my heart is over there and vice versa.
I’m not prepared to face people and their possible “So, how was Brazil???” question because i’m gonna be like, um desculpa, não entendi você quer que eu te explique meu ano de inmersão brasileira em uma frase só? Nossa véi, não tem jeito…(Um, excuse me, i don’t understand, you want me to explain my year of Brazilian immersion in one phrase? Shoot, dude, it’s not possible). If i could sum up this year in one phrase, i guess i would say, “look at my blog” because, well, luckily, i’ve already written a good chunk of it down for the public…
Don’t worry, this isn’t my last post. I’m still gonna write a little snippet about being in reverse culture shock. I mean, i can’t just leave you hanging. Here i am contrariada and all, so hopefully my next post i’m a little more tranquila and reflective and wise and stuff.